I did not sweep the kitchen floor yesterday because I was too busy embracing my inner slut. Today, I came over all Martha Stewart and got the broom out. Just as well as we were knee-deep in detritus. This is what had accumulated under the kitchen table in the last 24 hours.
It's no wonder there is never any food in this bloody house. It's all on the floor. Two chips, a satsuma, half a flapjack and a couple of crackers. There's enough here to make a decent packed lunch.